my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me
"Help, I’ve fallen glamorously and I can’t get up ;]"
All of the other mannequins look like they’re so sick of his shit.
"God damn it, Jerry’s at it again.
Dragonite is so ugly compared to Dragonair. I will never get over the fact such a beautiful Pokemon evolving into that goofy looking fatass.
You know what the Green Heron is basically the best heron because it is like 90% neck so when it is all folded down it looks like a giant head with wings and legs
but then suddenly ZOOP
fucking green herrons
What the fuck
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
jerry is here
Happy Birthday Daniel Radcliffe
23 July 1989